Healthy Communication With Your Child is Key

How many times have we heard communication is key? In this busy world that we live in I often hear from parents and teens that communication is difficult because of time or because of communication barriers. I often encourage the parents and caregivers that I work with to take time out to communicate with respect with their children. I also encourage the teens that I work with to communicate with respect to their parents and guardians. Not that simple you say? Well it can be and here is how:

• Set a time to talk. Again we are all busy but take time out every day to give some devoted attention to listen and talk with your child. This can be done during a car ride or in the evening. Do not just have a conversation with them when they have broken a rule but talk with them to simply ask how they are doing. To your surprise over time they will open up and share.
• Stop, listen and don’t interrupt each other. This is very important to remember when the conversation gets heated. But it also important to remember to not interrupt your child to answer your smart phone when one of those pesky alerts go off (call, text, email). After all we would expect the same of them. Be open and willing to use active listening and value what they are saying.
• Write it out. This is a successful tool for some of the teens I work with. I encourage children and teens to write out thoughts and feelings to parents. Teens often want to talk to their parents or another caring adult about a difficult topic, however they feel the parent will not listen and “blow up” and explode with emotion. When they write the parent a note or even a text message, it can often take the pressure off. I also advise parents they can start this process by writing to their child or teen first. Remember to not make this negative but open and honest with a caring and understanding message.
• Chat and Chew. Most households do not have time to sit at a table over a meal or dessert to have a conversation every night due to the busy demands of life, however set a goal to eat at the table together once a week- without technology at the table. Make this a judgement free zone and allow others to share freely. Keep it light and loving as much as possible. If you are not using these, try a few. In the end, one of the tips might be the right key to open the door of effective communication with your child or teen.